I have been accused of having a taste for “novelty” books, and perhaps this is simply another instance of the same poor taste, in another sphere… but a large part of the reason why I like the Scottish band ballboy is because they consistently have the best song titles in pop.
I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone else who has even heard of ballboy, yet alone a fellow fan. Their albums are hard to obtain, and don’t seem to circulate in North America. I ran into them first when I came across their single, “All the Records on the Radio are Shite.” How could I resist?
I later picked up Club Anthems (sample song titles: “Essential Wear for Future Trips to Space, “I Hate Scotland”, and “I’ve Got Pictures of You in Your Underwear”) and A Guide for the Daylight Hours (featuring “Where Do The Nights Of Sleep Go To When They Do Not Come To Me,” “You Can’t Spend Your Whole Life Hanging Around With Arseholes,” “I Wonder If You’re Drunk Enough To Sleep With Me Tonight,” and “I Lost You, But I Found Country Music”). And I’ve just belatedly received The Royal Theatre (“I Don’t Have Time To Stand Here With You Fighting About The Size Of My Dick” and “There Are Only Inches Between Us, But There Might As Well Be Mountains And Trees”).
Here they are live, with “You Can’t Spend Your Whole Life Hanging Around With Arseholes.” Though as they sagely observe, in fact you can spend your whole life hanging around with arseholes; but you shouldn’t.